Happy Birthday to the twins

23 years ago I became a father for the first time. 10 days later I saw Thomas and Jennifer (no longer their names) for the last time before we left them at the hospital for their adoptive parents to pick them up for the life we chose for them.

Today I will be thinking about them as they celebrate their birthday.

Happy Birthday to Thomas and Jennifer!

The story is here: www.cbc.ca/thecurrent/episode/2012/02/09/the-boy-with-the-past-documentary

“Should rape be legalized to make it safer?”

This was the question posed by Sun Media “journalist” Faith Goldy to a woman standing near to me at the anti-choice “March for Life” last week. I was participating in the pro-choice presence as I do every year. Goldy was working her way along the line asking confrontational questions and pushing buttons. Often they were based on incorrect information or false assumptions. Others, like the question she asked about legalizing rape were ridiculous and designed to elicit outrage.

I fell for her interview style. I was unprepared when she came to interview me. She jumped from question to question and each one was argumentative and often ignored what I had previously said. I did a poor job explaining why I was there and why I am pro-choice because my brain’s first reaction to every question was “WHAT?” I didn’t do as I should have and rejected the premise of her questions or take a deep breath before responding to her. Luckily I have this handy blog and can write the response I will give the next time I run into her or any other such troll.

Read more of this post

Response to Matt Walsh on Sex-Ed

Today I read a post by Matt Walsh detailing his views on sexual health education in schools.  I could not disagree more with the position he takes.  He doesn’t believe that schools should be teaching sexual health topics except perhaps anatomy in biology class.  Read more of this post

Teaching girls about sexual health

To start things off I would like to thank Joyce McFadden for her piece in the Huffington Post on this same topic. (www.huffingtonpost.com/joyce-mcfadden/things-little-girls-need-from-their-fathers_b_3348956.html)

I have two little girls and my wife and I have always referred to all of their body parts by their anatomical names with one early error that we need to correct.  We taught them that their external genitalia is called a vagina, when we should have said vulva.  This article has reminded me that I need to correct this.   We read the Bare Naked Book by Kathy Stinson with them as toddlers to help them learn the names of their body parts.

I know for many dads the topic of the sexuality of their little girls is an uncomfortable one. Read more of this post

On Fatherhood

Fathers’ Day is upon us and a few years ago I wrote a Facebook note reflecting on fatherhood (my first foray into blogging I guess) and I decided to revisit those thoughts and update them. As a result some of these themes may be familiar to some of you.

My father had a little sculpture of a boy and his dad standing by a tree and “Any man can be a father, it takes a special man to be a Dad” was written on the base.  I first became a father when I was a teenager to twins that we placed for adoption.  Those kids are now 22 years old and I am not, nor have I ever been their dad.  I know a little about who they are today.  I also know that other than my biological role I have played no role in who they have become.

I became a Dad for the first time six and a half years ago and in a matter of months I will become a dad for the third time.  Read more of this post


It is interesting how memory works.  Sometimes memories are powerful and pop-up at unexpected times.  Sometimes they come unbidden and other times more consciously on specific dates.  Sometimes we just forget.  In this particular case, I forgot.

Twenty-two years ago yesterday I became a father for the first time.  Until Laura reminded me last night, I had forgotten that it was June 5th and the significance of that date in my life.  It’s not like I really forgot my kids birthday.  Thomas and Jennifer (no longer their first names) are genetically my kids, but I haven’t seen them since they were 10 days old.  I was a teenager and my girlfriend at the time and I decided to place them for adoption. I’ve written and spoken about the whole experience many times in the past and I am not going to repeat it here.  If you are interested in the story, you can listen to the radio interview I did on the subject here: (www.cbc.ca/thecurrent/episode/2012/02/09/the-boy-with-the-past-documentary)

So June 5th is a memory marker for me.  It is fading with time.  I think that happens when you find peace with your memories.