Happy Birthday to the twins

23 years ago I became a father for the first time. 10 days later I saw Thomas and Jennifer (no longer their names) for the last time before we left them at the hospital for their adoptive parents to pick them up for the life we chose for them.

Today I will be thinking about them as they celebrate their birthday.

Happy Birthday to Thomas and Jennifer!

The story is here: www.cbc.ca/thecurrent/episode/2012/02/09/the-boy-with-the-past-documentary

“Should rape be legalized to make it safer?”

This was the question posed by Sun Media “journalist” Faith Goldy to a woman standing near to me at the anti-choice “March for Life” last week. I was participating in the pro-choice presence as I do every year. Goldy was working her way along the line asking confrontational questions and pushing buttons. Often they were based on incorrect information or false assumptions. Others, like the question she asked about legalizing rape were ridiculous and designed to elicit outrage.

I fell for her interview style. I was unprepared when she came to interview me. She jumped from question to question and each one was argumentative and often ignored what I had previously said. I did a poor job explaining why I was there and why I am pro-choice because my brain’s first reaction to every question was “WHAT?” I didn’t do as I should have and rejected the premise of her questions or take a deep breath before responding to her. Luckily I have this handy blog and can write the response I will give the next time I run into her or any other such troll.

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Memory

It is interesting how memory works.  Sometimes memories are powerful and pop-up at unexpected times.  Sometimes they come unbidden and other times more consciously on specific dates.  Sometimes we just forget.  In this particular case, I forgot.

Twenty-two years ago yesterday I became a father for the first time.  Until Laura reminded me last night, I had forgotten that it was June 5th and the significance of that date in my life.  It’s not like I really forgot my kids birthday.  Thomas and Jennifer (no longer their first names) are genetically my kids, but I haven’t seen them since they were 10 days old.  I was a teenager and my girlfriend at the time and I decided to place them for adoption. I’ve written and spoken about the whole experience many times in the past and I am not going to repeat it here.  If you are interested in the story, you can listen to the radio interview I did on the subject here: (www.cbc.ca/thecurrent/episode/2012/02/09/the-boy-with-the-past-documentary)

So June 5th is a memory marker for me.  It is fading with time.  I think that happens when you find peace with your memories.